You Can Lose & Get Better
“When people believe their basic qualities can be developed, failures may still hurt, but failures don’t define them. And if abilites can be expanded-if change and growth are possible-then there are still many paths to success.” - Carol Dweck “Mindset”
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How is that possible? Don’t losses reflect failure and lack of improvement?
No.
Failure is when a player is so afraid to lose, they compete in a manner that has nothing to do with the long term development of their game.
For example, if a player has recently changed their grip on their serve, but they’re so afraid to lose that they never implement the new grip in competition, they won’t get better. They can be in the final of a tournament, beat their opponent 6-0 6-0 with a frying pan grip, and they’ll have wasted their time. Their ranking will be higher and their level of play will have stayed the same. A better opponent, in a more important tournament will expose them.
But if a player tries to execute everything they’re learning in practice, and despite their frustrations while losing in the scoreline, continue to implement their improvements, they’re succeeding. They’re getting the repetitions they need to develop the muscle memory required, so that they can then move on to improve another area of their game.
At some point, that player will have improved enough areas in their game that they’ll start winning. And it’s more important to win later in life. College coaches don’t care about 12u results.
I recently watched one of my players lose and get better. Going into the tournament we were working on some technical things and he did his best to implement them. On some important points, he even looked to use the new techniques. It was too soon for the muscle memory to have been developed, so he missed thte shots and lost the match.
But he walked off the court and was aware of what he did and why he did it. In my mind, a coach’s mind, he won the day. In a few months, he’ll be in position to beat that same opponent, as well as better opponents.
I have another player who is transitioning from being an incredibly consistent player to developing an aggressive game style.
A few weekends ago, he lost two tough matches he felt he could have won if he simply put more balls in play. After reviewing both matches, he was wrong.
He lost because of one consistent theme: shot selection.
The player was trying to play aggressively, but he kept hitting to his opponents strengths. If he would’ve had better shot selection, he would have had more success.
So he ended up getting better in two different ways:
By practicing his aggressive game style throughout the tournament.
By learning that playing aggressive still requires using your strength to find your opponents weakness.
So don’t get caught up with the scoreline. Look at what’s going on in the match. Sure, the player might be losing, but why? Is it because they’re trying to implement the things they’ve worked on in practice? If so, then they’re winning the day, and are closer to becoming the best player they can be. They’ll be rewarded in the long run.