It’s not just the kids. The parents don’t know the process either. And junior tennis is a huge time and financial commitment from them. If so much time and money is going to be spent, it’s completely understandable that they’d like to make sure their child is on the best possible path towards achieving their goals.

And since most coaches don’t go to any junior tournaments (we all know how I feel about that), the parent are the first and last person the player is going to talk to. They need to be prepared to handle the pre and post match situations.

And how they handle those situations can make things better or worse for their child. They can send them to the match with even more stress and anxiety, or they can take some of the edge off. After a loss, a parent can be the final touch that makes the child cry, or they can say the right thing and make their child excited to play the next match.

The problem is, how do they know if a loss was a good loss or a bad loss? How do they know if their child’s stress and anxiety levels are normal or not? How do they know what to say before and after a match?

How do they know if they’re handling their parental role well?  

This is why parents need to be coached too.

Because if a parent handles their role incorrectly, they’re going to ruin their child’s development.

Coaching is a delicate ballgame. There’s a time and place to say everything. There’s a certain tone of voice each situation requires. And at times, it’s okay to sit there and say nothing, even as they do the wrong thing. Sometimes, only after losing a match they really wanted to win is a child finally willing to listen to their coach.

Parents though, can have a hard time accepting that. They feel money and time is going down the drain after a terrible tournament weekend. I get it, but that’s wrong. There’s no greater teacher than experience.

So when a parent signs their child up for high performance junior tennis, they think it’s only the child that’s going to get coached. Oh no no no. If they sign their child up to work with a good coach, they’re going to end up getting coached themselves too.

But coaching parents isn’t easy. Some parents think they know what’s best for their child, even in an area they’re not an expert in. They can’t help but consistently give their opinion to their child in whatever tone of voice they’d like in whatever moment they feel is necessary. Regardless, a coach needs to help them learn how to handle their role.

So to all my fellow coaches that have accepted the grind of high performance junior tennis coaching, coach the parents too. It’s more time and energy consuming, but you’ll be happier knowing the parents are actually making the process better. And the player will be happy their parents aren’t making the game harder than it already is.